Reed College

As the hunt for the perfect college continues, maybe more by me than by Cannon, we set up another college visit on Friday. Back in April when we did our big tour of California schools (covering 8 in 5 days!) a professor at Stanford asked us if we had ever considered Reed College in Portland?  Frankly, I hadn't even heard of it. But when I was searching the Internet for top ranked small schools good in math and science, once again Reed popped up. On several lists. So since it was only 2 1/2 hours away, I suggested a visit.

We pulled into campus early on a drizzly morning but immediately I was struck by the beauty of the campus. Picturesque buildings were surrounded by verdant lawns and massive trees kissed with the colors of fall. Nice. The admissions talk focused on balanced classes focused on learning not grades. Ok, good with that too. The campus tour spoke of dorms with real working fireplaces in the rooms. What?  I want to live here. Class sizes averaged 15. Sweet!  There's a depth to the math department courses that I had seen anywhere else. Awesome!  There's even a nuclear reactor on campus which is primarily student run!  Wow, wowza!  I was beginning to feel like we might have a winner here.

But then, well, while Cannon was off attending a class on thermal physics, I went to the bookstore. And as I was casually browsing the t-shirts, I noticed the crest of the school. Well actually what I noticed were the words.

"Communism, Atheism, Free Love"

What, what, what????  Back the truck up!  This is a joke, right?

Sadly, this was not a joke and my hopes of finding the perfect college died right there in the middle of the verdant beauty.

Firing our Cannon

It's cliche to say that I can't believe our son is a senior, but I'm going to say it anyways, "How can our son be a senior???"  And while I'm at it, let me throw in a few other cliches...Where has the time gone? I blinked and now he's driving? Where did my baby go?

In all fairness, I haven't had quite as long with my first born at home as some mom's have. Cannon has an August birthday, which made him young in his class. But on top of that there was 6th grade, which he skipped, so now here he is, freshly turned 16 and in his final year at home.

I'm writing this blog as a way of working through my feelings about this. There's no denying that I'm an emotional momma, all my kids make fun of me for crying at sad movies, TV shows, Facebook posts, commercials, and especially those "good news" stories at the end of the evening news. If it involves a child, a soldier, or an animal, the tears will be flowing.  I cried at "Pete's Dragon" for Pete's sake!

So how can I not cry at the thought of part of me moving away?

Yep, here come the tears now as I'm writing this.

Lets be clear, it's not that I don't want him to grow up, continue his education, get a job, have a life. I definitely want those things for him and more!  I'm just going to miss him with a fierceness that is more guttural than logical. More primal than rational.

So I hope to express these feelings in writing to give them an outlet and a voice. To take them from my heart to my head. To acknowledge them while addressing them. Anyone else with me?